“TFAMM (Tales From a Monkey Mind): Nobody said it was easy”

Dude, everybody deserves a little patience and understanding, right?

That’s why, for the last month, I’ve been in DeJardin lands. Walkin the earth. Meetin the people. Takin their measure, and givin what I can to those in need.

And there’s need here, dudes.

I just did rites for the burial of about 50 percent of a county.
I need a drink, man. Where’s my gourd?

The war that was fought, not long ago, took a heavy toll on the mainstay of all the people’s involved. It hit the lower classes hardest. Ain’t that always the way, man?

When I walked into town, the fields were near completely fallow. The last crop went bad, and all their previous stock had been given over to feed DeJardin soldiers. People were starving. They were crowding to any scraps the upper and middle classes could give. Some merchants hoarded their wares, others opened their doors to the poor. The bread lines, dude.. You ever seen one? I have, man. It’s not a scene you wanna revisit.

Some folks got so desperate, they took ta stealin..

As I ambled through town square, an elven kid ran past me, goin all out. Three guards nearly shoved me over, chasing ‘im, and they caught their target. Some bread and cheese marked for the local Duke’s hold spilled outta a bag the kid was clutching.

The guards, Dude, they wasted no time. One pulled out a sword while the other two held the kid and extended one of his arms.
“Thief!” , the guard cried, lifting his sword. “pay for your crime with the hand that caused it!”

Did you know, Dudes, that the right amount of contact to a point on your forearm will cause your fingers to open and make ya loose yer grip?

Cause that’s what my umbrella hit on the swordsman, and the other guards.

The sword hit cobblestones and the kid had just enough chance to wriggle free and run off.

The guards shook off the tingling in their hands and arms, the sword was retrieved, and they turned on me with a look that was fit ta take down a bear, man..
“You’re”, they cried,
“Forgotten” I replied, with a hand gesture the Sages taught me.
Their eyes went blank for a second as my command laid hold on ‘em, and they walked away.

I caught up to the kid, and learned his name was Jacques.
“What’s up Jacques?”, I asked, pointing back at the square while handing him back his bag. In their confusion from my command word, the guards had forgotten the entire event.

Jacques told me how he had decided to steal from the Duke because he and his sister had nothing to eat, and none of the breadlines were open any more. I walked with him to his family and gave them all the food I had in my pack. They were immigrants to the area, portalfolk. Last ones in are often the first ones to get targeted. The first ta feel judgement from them that thinks they’re better than, meant ta be here. It’s an old story, dude, an I’m tired of it.

That was my first direct experience of hunger and want in this county. It wouldn’t be my last.

Ya see, that starvation, was about to turn inta somethin more…

I did what I could to help. Ta heal the sick, ta aide people, ta buy food from those that wouldn’t give it out. After a while though, there just wasn’t any ta give. At least, not outside of the Ducal hold, and me, I can do a lot, but I can’t make food outta thin air, man. I ain’t, uhh, what was that dudes name again?

Anyway, man, about 2 weeks ago, the hunger started turning. The first ones that seemed to suffer the change were beggars who had arrived through portals and were looking for shelter. First their hunger became desperate, then all consuming. Then one of them attacked a guard, apologizing the whole time, while he tried to take a bite outta him like he was the nicest cheeseburger you ever saw!

What’s a cheeseburger? Uhh.. well.. in DeJardin they call it a “Royale with cheese”..

Some of this, most of it really, I don’t like rememberin.. Where’s my gourd? I need a drink..

As the disease spread, it became clearer. It wasn’t my first time seeing the thing that “I” call “èguǐ”, meanin “hungry ghost”. Most folks call it the Horde.

This was different though. These Horde were eating ANYTHING, and the whole time, they were trying to contain themselves, to forestall the sickness..

It’s.. dude.. can I swear here? F it.. hand me my gourd.

The guard tried to contain the “infected” to a quadrant of town, but that just forestalled the inevitable. It next spread through the poor, the started to infect part of the merchant classes.

I set up a spot to offer a kind of clinic and tried to treat folks that were showin early signs of the horde virus, but everything I did was just like pouring salt in a wound.

When they brought Jacques to me, he was near outta his mind with the ravages of the virus. I mean, that’s what I’m callin it.

I tried seeing if I could still the pull of magic around him. If this was a curse, or something magical, maybe I could dispel it. I have some ability there.

That made it worse. He became ravenous and wild eyed. I told him to “sleep”. His body obeyed, but I knew it wouldn’t last..

He and his whole family got moved to a growing quarter of the town, now walled in, where the infected were sent.

A week ago, I tried something different. I snuck into the walled in horde zone. When a group of the infected came up on me I commanded them all with the word “sated”.

They stopped their attack, and sat down. Some of them cried from relief. They had bite marks on their arms and legs. Hard ta tell if they were from others or self inflicted. As I watched them and tried to communicate, their bellies.. kinda caved in, and the hunger re entered their eyes.

I tried ta think of somethin ta do or say as they rushed me, but the next thing I knew, I was back at my clinic spot. I musta “time warped” outta there.

I do that.. it’s a thing. I close my eyes in one place and end up in another, man..

I don’t fully know what led to the purging of the horde. Maybe, maybe I just don’t wanna remember. What I understand is this:

The Duke sequestered himself and other upper class and nobles in his Keep. I heard he didn’t wanna acknowledge what was going on out there, so, to laugh in the face a death, he threw a party for himself and his “gang”.

While they celebrated, the guards were sent into the horde quadrant to exterminate the plague.

I guess they thought they had to..

The horde were eating the walls..

I tried to stop them, or turn them around, or anything else I could do, but always one thing or another happened, either more new guards were sent or some of the guards I turned away became horde themselves.

And so, a week ago, I said prayers over the dead. Including Jacques and his sister.

Then, just now, a guard came and found me. He looked haggard.

He said that only 5 nobles were left from the party the Duke threw.

Up there, contained in the walls of the keep, a few of the guests, new members of the upper class, turned horde. Locked in with the party, they ate their own, including the Duke. The remaining 5 fought their way out, before being rescued by guards. They need me to handle the burial for the Duke.

You think that makes me happy, man? You think that’s “justice”?
Well you don’t f’n know me, dude! Okay!?!

Am I starting ta get a tremor in my hands, man? I don’t remember that before. I need a drink.

The lowest
And the highest
Both feel the call of want

Yet one knows better
Than the other
The pull of need
-Sheng Wu (written in baijiu, evaporating in the sunlight on a wooden table)

[Hanu would like to mention that “Sheng Wu” can be translated as: “no sage”, “not wise”, and “not a sage”, amongst other translations]