03/23, Aria’s Journal

It’s my birthday! Not going to lie this isn’t very different than what my birthdays used to look like. Being alone in a room and it not feeling like a special occasion despite it being so. Either left alone in at the house or in my dorm room at the academy. All the kids from my town were brought home on their birthdays. I remember a birthday party I went to back when I lived with mom and dad. I think it was, Laruna’s? Doesn’t really matter but her parents had punch and cake and the family tree was on display with bright lights. I was so jealous. I’m not even sure why she invited me over we weren’t friends, maybe a pity invite? I mean I also wasn’t that great of a person back then either so I wouldn’t blame anyone for not inviting me to their party. I don’t think I’ve ever had a birthday party with my parents. Somehow when March came they always left me alone in the house off on another adventure. They did leave a present behind though so I guess they still remembered it was my birthday.
Oh my gosh I just remembered the one time I tried making a birthday cake by myself. It was a total disaster, flour was everywhere and I used way too much milk. I even accidentally used flour instead of powered sugar in the icing, don’t ask me how I managed that. When I took a bite I was the saddest girl on the planet. It tasted like a pancake with too much baking soda and loneliness. I made a vow to myself to never celebrate my birthday after that but I got over it. I tried to make my birthdays special but there’s not much one person can do. Last year I snook a piece of a sweet roll back to my room and cast an illusion to make it look like it had a candle. I’m not doing anything this year, I don’t have the means to. I think I’ve spent most of my money on survival and ink to keep writing this journal. My heart hurts, like when you know you have no real power in the world so your posture shrinks and take a shallow breath. The cold creeps in and all you can do to keep it at bay is hug yourself. I want to try and keep my birthday at least a mediocre experience and this isn’t helping. So I guess I’ll just go into my usual moping instead of the limited edition kind.
There’s apparently a, party?? Potluck party? I don’t know what the celebration is called but apparently we are all getting together to celebrate the end of winter. Also people are heading out to another region of the country for ambassador purposes. I have not idea of what’s going on, just that like, “weird” stuff is happening and weird stuff is always happening. So I’ll give updates on what happens next, I bet like, 5 copper it goes very wrong. My guess is, hm. All the ambassadors will get kidnapped for ransom or they’ll see something they’re not supposed to. There’s also new openings in almost all the guilds round here, which is nice. I don’t think I’ll join any of the big ones cause that just sounds like trouble, working with the government. Remember those guys I ran into once I was first teleported? Yeah those guys were part of the order. Should I capitalize that? Nah they don’t deserve it. They are in charge of making sure no one is casting any illegal magic which I think is ehhhhhhh. I mean they don’t even allow resurrecting!! That sucks!!! Also they’re the tax men and who wants to be the tax man. Am I allowed to write that? Like how far do they go with censoring? On one hand they do not care about me as I am a nobody with no power, on the other hand I don’t know how controlling they are. Eh I’m sure it’s fine not like anybody else is reading this thing.
I’m going to start planning what I should bring to the potluck, I can’t show up empty handed but I’m uh, poor. I’ll figure something out.