Before the portal, Aria Journal 06/25

[000Curiosity]

Sorry for not writing for so long, not much has happened. More traveling, more of the same. I don’t think I’m appreciating this enough ya know. All of these towns are different in their own unique ways but I don’t feel any different. They are really nice places though.

This town is pretty neat. it’s kinda cool to be able to have a good view of the stars without the trees in the way. Currently I’m in the town of Chara. Right in the middle of plains biome, there are no clouds out tonight so I’m able to see the constellations. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen the stars so clearly, living my entire life in the forest doesn’t give great views. I used to love the stars. On almost all of my assignments and homework there would be little doodles of stars and comets. I don’t really love them as much now, not saying that I hate stars, that’d be weird.

Speaking of viewing the stars they’ve got a huge observatory here, I don’t think I’ll be able to go in but DAMN is that a large telescope. Like seriously, HUGE. I wonder what you could see through a telescope like that, with my luck I’d probably see some cosmic horror. Man space is scary. I remember a story I read a long time ago, it was about a monster who lived on the moon and how her spirit killed all who landed there. There was one scene that really got to me though, spoilers I guess. The ending has the protagonist launching the corpse of the woman (who was the spirit killing people) out into space in a coffin. She was in her wedding dress because she went to the moon to marry her boyfriend who was the manager for the mine that was on the moon. The visuals of her corpse so peacefully resting in the coffin as she drifts through space forever, it really got to me. Just knowing she could never return home. That’s just so sad. I don’t even remember what the book was called but that scene still sticks with me. Space has always scared me, the empty vastness, the unknown, the known.

Of course we all heard the stories of cosmic warlocks back at the academy. How looking too deep into the abyss would cause the abyss to stare back and they became trapped by their patron in a web of lies and insanity. But if ya hung around in the correct circles (or were the quiet kid and they didn’t mind talking about it around you) you heard the (allegedly) true story of why the academy tells these stories. They say that there used to be a student who spent every night in the observatory looking up at the stars. The student was making a map of the stars, as he mapped the stars one by one, his eyes grew weaker until he could only see the stars. Then ya know typical warlock stuff, weird nightmares, obsession over the telescope and the star map they were making, deal with a great old one, ya know the gist. This student is apparently why we aren’t allowed into the observatory after night. Not like I was going in there anyways. I’m pretty sure only diviners were using it and we didn’t have many diviner wizards anyways.

Sorry for going off on so many tangents, I don’t really talk to people much anymore aside for the necessities ya know. Did I ever have people to talk about my stories with? While on one hand I’m glad I’m forgetting about my time at school on the other hand this makes it difficult to reflect, therapy is gonna be a bitch. I think I did? I mean, board game club was nice and I think they liked my stories? But I didn’t get much feedback, but they still kept coming for the next session, or was that just out of awkwardness. Whatever it’s over now. No need to dwell it’s over. I do wish I had someone to talk to ya know, man I am the worst bard. They’re supposed to be social and outgoing and here I am boo hooing to my journal about there being no one to hear my story. I should be able to just go out into the street and tell it! How was I ever able to graduate.

This is too sad for me right now, maybe the stars have made me melancholic. I’ll try to figure out what my next job will be tomorrow, tonight I’ll just keep looking at the stars.

[Author]

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