Dear Thief…

[Rinxee]

Kelora’s journal

[Rinxee]

Dear Thief,

What was it Papa always said?

“You can only control yourself. Just like anyone else, never forget that my children act with intention.”

My papa taught me many things, none of which were to regret my actions. Through my bounty, a lost husband, and many lost friends, I have never felt regret before… until now.

And I will tell you, I hate it.

My regrets started the first night.

The wolves howled at the windows and we realized that Drandor and Menry were still out there… I ran out with them, just in case they needed a healer. We had already seen madness in Kalen, Raine, and Bruzog, we didn’t need more. When I came back, I felt great. Invincible. But arrogance is always my downfall… I don’t regret yelling at Malak. I meant what I said and I will always defend those who are judged for their bloodline. I do wish I had been more… civil… maybe my point would have been made better, but I’ve never been one to keep a civil tongue.

The lights went out and we saw them. The Dreamer and a King. They offered power to find Tulley Eye and I… I was weak. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m always there to help my friends, but I struggle to accept it. I took the deal and became a hound this night. I was still me, I could still think, it just felt… intoxicating… all of my rage bubbled up to the surface. I was going to get my prey and for ONCE… I had the power to stand on my own.

I ran through the crowd, I could smell their fear. I could smell their anger. I could smell their disgust towards me. I heard a familiar voice ring out. It was Hanu’s voice coming from Poet… and there is where I first felt regret.

“Hanu’s gone! Ontha’s dead! Enigma is gone!! Because of me, because I’m here!”

I could feel tears streaming down my face, but I could not register why… I hurt her… I hurt her in a way I couldn’t just heal away.

When I came to, it was like the worst hangover ever. But worse than that was Poet’s rejection of me for what I said… I begged her forgiveness, something also very foreign to me. I’m still not sure she has forgiven me.

We shall see

[Rinxee]

Dear Thief,

War is happening. I hate war. It brings danger, but I guess it also brings safety for me.

We went back to Haven recently. I got to see Kebbie!! They look well. I’m glad. I worry a lot.

I got to teach healing. I was concerned about teaching at first, because healing comes from many places.

Aria will be a force to be reckoned with before too long.
Wyn is eager to learn and that will serve her well.
Gladius is learning that healing doesn’t have to come from the happy spaces of his mind.

I see so much of myself in all of them. I liked teaching, maybe I’ll keep going as long as I can stay. I’ve been here so long and I need to keep an eye out.

I made a new friend who hates me, which is fair. I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m a bit much. I spoke against her at a summit and she threatened me as she left town. Feels like home, except the threats are less creative.

Still try to be a merchant. I guess it’s better money than telling fortunes, but I’m not very good at it. I met man named Artie recently who is much better at it than I am. I need to bring more to my actual passions, maybe then I can stop selling bits of plants and rock.

There was a fire. I was an idiot and rushed in to save the Po Chi Lam. I shouldn’t have. As soon as I rushed in to make sure no one else was in there and to get the infirmary safe, a fire started behind me. Luckily, competent people put the fires out.

Oh, the horde are back. I think the Desjardins has something to do with it. My new friend Eufie was one of the victims.

I need to stop reaching out to people…
I need to stop accepting people…
I need to stop…

But time moves forward and all we can do is try to keep up. It will all be fine, in time.

We shall see
Kelora Eguzkia

[Rinxee]

Dear Thief,

War is happening. I hate war. It brings danger, but I guess it also brings safety for me.

We went back to Haven recently. I got to see Kebbie!! They look well. I’m glad. I worry a lot.

I got to teach healing. I was concerned about teaching at first, because healing comes from many places.

Aria will be a force to be reckoned with before too long.
Wyn is eager to learn and that will serve her well.
Gladius is learning that healing doesn’t have to come from the happy spaces of his mind.

I see so much of myself in all of them. I liked teaching, maybe I’ll keep going as long as I can stay. I’ve been here so long and I need to keep an eye out.

I made a new friend who hates me, which is fair. I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m a bit much. I spoke against her at a summit and she threatened me as she left town. Feels like home, except the threats are less creative.

Still try to be a merchant. I guess it’s better money than telling fortunes, but I’m not very good at it. I met man named Artie recently who is much better at it than I am. I need to bring more to my actual passions, maybe then I can stop selling bits of plants and rock.

There was a fire. I was an idiot and rushed in to save the Po Chi Lam. I shouldn’t have. As soon as I rushed in to make sure no one else was in there and to get the infirmary safe, a fire started behind me. Luckily, competent people put the fires out.

Oh, the horde are back. I think the Desjardins has something to do with it. My new friend Eufie was one of the victims.

I need to stop reaching out to people…
I need to stop accepting people…
I need to stop…

But time moves forward and all we can do is try to keep up. It will all be fine, in time.

We shall see
Kelora Eguzkia

[Author]

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