(っ◔◡◔)っ PUNTY’S DAY (WITH TRANSLATIONS) [[LONG]]
- Things in the parenthesis/bold are translations if you just want to read those instead of butchered Punty writing.
- It’s very long; he retells literally every event.
- I’m sorry.
- I’m serious; it’s long.
Ha-low! Dis es da Punty. How arh youh? I am not da carh-ing, buht et es da polite-o-ness. Wai dewh I have-a-ta say “ha-low” to da buhke, even dough et es not da alive? Am not having ta say “ha-low” to de rhock?
(Hello! This is Punty. How are you? I don’t care, but it’s polite to ask. Why do I have to say “Hello” to the book, even though it is not alive? I don’t have to say “Hello” to a rock?)
Taday was vhery intar-resting. Went on da pet-roll wiff da skull person, da po-ten-tial whife, Teycus, und a new mehmber.I tink et has-a been da dangjer late-el-ly? Whowle pat-roll, asken about da mushrhooms feel-lans. New mehmber said-a conce-stant pain. How a-many know a deh mushhroom’s pain?
(Today was very interesting. I went on patrol with the skull person, my potential wife, Thecus, and a new member. I think it has been more dangerous lately. While patrolling, I asked if mushrooms have feelings and what they feel. The new member said they were in constant pain. How many people know about the mushroom’s pain?)
Weh saw-a some beheast folk and a man. Man and beheast-a folk started da fight. Did not having pay much atten-chon. Sumpting about a crishtal? Man dan kill-a da beheast folk. Saw nutter person wandarhing; group needen ta inves-tah-gate. I am the going. Teycus went-a wiff me, but-a not knowing why. Am best dehplomancy.
(We saw some beastfolk and a man. They started fighting. I didn’t pay much attention; something about a crystal? The man killed the beastfolk. We saw another person wandering the forest, which the group wanted to investigate. I went. Thecus went with me, but I don’t know why. I am the best diplomat.)
Person whas an elf. Dey not-a talk, but gesture dat dey needa da floh-wer for dey constapation. Teycus and I helped. Help-a him back-a ta town tu. More beheast came and attack-ked at dey camp. Capturing one den interrogation dem. Letting go, not kill. Man want-a to kill, dough. Teycus saying not dey normal behavior.
(The person was an elf. They don’t talk but gestured that they needed a flower because they were constipated. Thecus and I helped them find it and then helped them back to town. More beastfolk came and attacked. We captured one and interrogated them. We let them free and didn’t kill them, even if the man wanted to, though. Thecus says that’s not their normal behavior.)
Pehpole don’t-a like-a my babbah because it esn’t alive. I want-a pehpole to a like-a my babbah. Asked Drehn and da viking abouta how to make my babbah dey alive. Said dat i needed da chicken heart to put in da babbah. Asked what es da chicken. Et a bird? Was told to go to farm to harvest. Did not need, because da skull man had one. He den tella me to be da careful wit what I do or he will needa do arrest on da Punty. I asked if he was-a da Simon until Simon was here. He didn’t like-a dat.
(People don’t like my baby because he isn’t alive. I want people to like my baby. I asked Drein and the viking about how to make my baby alive. They said I need a chicken heart to put in the baby. What is a chicken? Is it a bird? I was told to go to a farm to get the harvest. I did not need to, because the skull man had one. He then told me to be careful with what I do or he will need to arrest me. I asked if he was the temporary Simon. He did not like that.)
Da man we-a found had want-a a crishtal. Am confusing. Many round shiney to be-a had. Being da picky es da stoopahd. Talking to da Shad-a-lei and da Var-rack. Dey talk-a to a fair-ray. Dey name-a was da Hermes and dey a vahry nice. Make-a a deal wit da Var-rick, so I did-a, too. Exchanging da friendship for no illegal. Var-rick is my bestfriend-a now.
(The man we found wants a crystal. I am confused; there are a lot of shiny things around. Being picky is stupid. I talked to Shadlei and Varrick. They were talking to a fairy. Their name was Hermes and they were very nice. They were making a deal with Varrick, so I did too. He is my friend as long as I don’t do anything illegal. Varrick is my best friend now.)
Pehpole also helpa me getta whife. Drehn notta wanta ring or da marriage bone. Shad-a-lei tella me dat da “respekt” is a somfin ta give? Hes last-a partner wanted dat. Notta knowing what dat es, anda neeter do Shad-a-lei. Asking da whife; saying dey wanta magic item. I will getta dat for mah suhgar. Said-a Shad-a-lei and da Var-rick and da Hermes could-a be my best mans fer da weddin. Hermes sid it was da insult to be da motal. Not understand, but said-a den he could-a be my best Hermes.
(People were also helping me with my wife. Drein doesn’t want a ring or marriage bone. Shadlei told me that “respect” is something to give. His last partner wanted that. I don’t know what that is and neither does Shalei. I asked my wife what they want; they wanted a magic item. I will get that for my sugar. I said Shadlei, Varrick, and Hermes could be my best men. Hermes said it was an insult to be called a mortal. I didn’t understand, but said he could be my best Hermes.)
Nudder man came into town; am having da haunt. Reminda me ‘a my precious babbah bohy, Appah See-ad. Missing him da vhery much. Am got sad becuase I tinka I am da bad mudher. Blorp and da Patrice es gone, Appah seed is gone; mah bebies arh da leaving me!
(Another man came into town; he was haunted. It reminds me of my precious baby boy, Apple Seed. I got sad because I think I am a bad mother. Blorp and Patrice are gone, Apple Seed is gone. My babies are leaving me!)
Skull man help-a dah trahvler. Do a rit-hu-hual? Not paying dah attention. Too busy getten da magic for mah whife. Artafact creator said he make. Gave treasure from da bellybutton. He ask no pay, but-ta I rehmeba da favors. Will give him treasures from time ta time.
(Skull man helped the traveler. He did a ritual to help? I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy getting the magic item for my wife. The artifician said he could create something for me, but he needed materials, so I pulled them from my belly button. He didn’t charge, but I will remember his help and give him treasures from time to time.)
Was doing an ask to da man wiff da black-a bead neckalace. He-a had a skull, asking what da name ‘a his son. Said-a notta son, butta focus. His child’s name es Focus? Teycus den tried-a to attack Focus’s fadher. Dat was da vhery unlike-a her. She-a seemed confused why-a she did. I tink dat da Focus fadher is da fish. When I use-a da taunt, it-a make da pehpole attack-a me. Maybeh he a do-a dat, too? He was-a talkin to hisa son behfer da conflic-kt.
(I was asking questions to the man with the black bead necklace. He had a skull and I asked what is his son’s name. He said it wasn’t a son, but a focus. His child’s name is Focus? Thecus then tried to attack Focus’s father. That was very unlike her. She seemed confused why she did that. I think Focus’s father is fishy. When I use taunt, it makes people attack me. Maybe he did that, too? He was talking to his son before the conflict.)
Lefta town for a bit because I fella down-a hill aftur a bhug. Took-a me a while to come-a back. When I return-ned, Order person was-a dere. I ask-sked about-a his son. He aska me how I know about-ta his son. He had him on-a his neck, duh. Had son like-a dat, too, name es Blorp. He did-a notta name es son yet. Explaining to him how to getta child. Name-a somfin witta no name an et es yours. Like parent and da new babbah. New babbah have-a no name, parent give, now make parent! He-a notta know what to name et, so having explaining names, too. One-a name es good, butta two es da greehday.He-a name-a da son: Greehdson da Greehday.
(I left town for a bit because I fell down a hill chasing a bug. It took me a while to come back. When I returned, an Order person was there. I asked about his son, and he asked me how I knew about his son. He had a skull on his necklace, duh. I had a son like that, too, named Blorp. He hadn’t named his son yet. I explained to him how to get a child: you name something with no name, like parents and a newborn baby. The new baby has no name, the parents give them one, and they are the parents. He didn’t know what to name it. One name is good, but two are greedy. He name his son Greedson the Greedy.)
I also ask-a da Order man if da dead body was da illegal. Tired of da people being da racist to my babbah. Udder pehpole have-a da skull and da dead tings, too, butta why aren’t-ta mine da okay? He-a said dey weren’t as long as I didn’t do da kill or da rob, and dat the body stay being da death. Babbah has-a da Order seal of da approve! Skull man is telling Punty to be de more discrete, butta Punty will decide-a to not listen.
(I also asked the man from the Order is a dead body was illegal. I’m tired of people being racist to my baby. Other people have skulls and dead things, too, but why aren’t mine okay? He said they weren’t illegal as long as I didn’t kill them or grave rob, and the dead thing has to stay dead. Baby has the seal of approval from the Order! Skull man told me to be discreet, but I’m not going to listen.)
I spared a bit wit mah whife. Dey cannot keep up witta my gallop. Trahvelor came in anda I spar witta dem, too. I won anda dey gave-a me two copphor. Spared more wit da whife and I chased dem downa da hill. Spared wit da tiny child barbarian. Big fun. Wenta item find-den wit Teycus. Had good talk about da rah-cists. Different-a es da hard; no mattur how-a hard youh try, peh-pol do notta like-a youh. We-a saw da bad man again. Stayed away and told-a da group.
( I spared a bit with my wife. They couldn’t keep up with my gallop. Traveler came and I spared with them, too. I won and they gave me two copper. I spared more with my wife and chased them down the hill. I also spared with the small child barbarian. It was fun. I went item finding with Thecus. We had a good talk about racists. Being different is hard; no matter how much you try, people do not like you. We saw the bad man again. We stayed away from him and told the group.)
Da man-a we saw was da captured by the kobolds. He must-a been da big-a stoopahd den. Met a varhy nice-a one. Name-a him Glorp-po. Lahter, Varrick hadda make da Glorp-po into paste because day kobolds attack-ked us for dey crishtal. I miss-a Glorp-po evhery day, butta Var-rcik has-a da friend-a shiop prio-righty. He es my besta-friend. Varrick yella at me for giving da rhocks-a back to da kobolds after dey have been-a trown. Made-a friends wit da Aiken end da Catter-liar-peed; deyha like-a my bellaybhutton.
(The man we saw was captured by kobolds. He must have been really stupid, then. I met a very nice kobold. I named him Glorp-po. Later, Varrick killed Glorp-po because the kobolds attacked us for the crystal. I miss Glorp-po everyday, but Varrick has friendship priority. He is my best friend. Varrick yelled at me for giving the kobolds back the rocks after they threw them. I made friends with Aiken and Calliope; they like my belly button)
We were in-a da pohsession oh dey captured bad ghuy. He a try-a hurta Nova anda her stone. Dat es the big mean. We punch-a his face. I offered to eat-a his body, but skull man said-a no. Lots-a new pehpole have arrived, but lots of old-a ones have-a been da missing. I hope-a dey are da okahy.
(We here in the possession of the captured bad guy. He tried to hurt Nova and her stone. That’s very mean. We punched his face. I offered to eat his body, but skull man said no. Lots of new people arrived, but lots of old ones have been missing. I hope they are okay.)
[AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE THERE IS A CRUDE AND AMATURE DRAWING OF A GNOME. A LITTLE ARROW IS POINTING TO IT THAT SAYS “COOL GNOME PUNTY”. THIS MAY BE THE SIGNITURE?]